Future Fashionista?

Wow! What a week!

Back in February, we were approached by Jennine Vidal - a young woman in our church who used to babysit for us in her younger days & is now completing her degree in Fashion Design. As part of her final project, she had to create her own clothing line to be presented in an end of year fashion show for the Fashion Dept at the university. She had chosen to do a line of childrens' clothes (smart girl!) and wondered if Averie could model for her in the fashion show. Averie's reaction was a very girly, covered mouth gasp & squeal - a most sure "yes" in little girl land :)

It was a little more work than I had thought when we originally agreed to do it as there were fittings & other things which I hadn't anticipated but Averie LOVED every minute of it!! It was lots of fun, the clothes were ADORABLE & everyone at the school was very kind & accomodating as I dragged all 3 of my kids to fittings, etc.

I really didn't realize what a HUGE & high quality production the show is until a couple of weeks ago. It was a REAL fashion show!! Averie was 1 of 3 five year old girls who would be in the show (2 grads did childrens lines) with around 30 BEAUTIFUL full grown (and then some! - I think I only came up to the elbows on some of them!) models.

The last 2 days were rehearsals & 2 shows (one matinee, one evening show) which were SO MUCH FUN!! I have never been a big fashionista.... more a jeans & tshirt kind of gal - but this really was a blast!!

Averie loved EVERY minute of it!!
She loved the pampering...

Hair done...

...twice - once for matinee, then re-done for evening show.

Make -up!!


Rehearsing...
(dress rehearsal)


Making new friends...
Averie, Savannah, Lola


The clothes!!!
Such an amazing experience to wear one-of-a-kind outfits
made specifically for you by amazingly talented hands!
(click for a closer view)


The performance!
- Please pardon the filming,
my hubby was a little distracted with his baby girl being on stage & all...
almost missed some critical parts... was pretty shaky in others...
I suppose I can forgive him, it was all very exciting! :)

I wish we could put the whole show on here, it was so incredibly well done! Both Graham & I agreed that we would be interested in going again - even if our daughter wasn't involved! It was very entertaining!

Averie did such an amazing job & was a HIT among the models, faculty, designers, audience... and of course her super proud family!! Nannie & Grandpa (Graham's parents) made it to the evening show with Graham, & a prouder bunch could not be found anywhere!

After this, I think I'm going to have to find a way to get her a chance to perform more... she really loved it! Dance classes, here we come!

** Note: we are supposed to be getting some professional photos of the whole thing - will update later if/when we get them.

I can see clearly now...

I have redeemed myself.

It actually has been a really good week. In comparison - of course, all of life is relative & sometimes it takes a pity party to make you appreciate what you really have.

I went shopping this week for something to wear to a "formal" event we went to last night. This usually would be something that would leave me in a puddle on the "woe-is-me" floor. I have not weighed myself in some time for the simple technical difficulty that the battery in my digital scale died. I have tried to maintain my decent eating, but the exercise is out the window - in any sort of formal way anyway (outside of chasing my children, lugging HUGE loads of laundry up & down stairs, carrying my 20lb baby & probably equally as heavy diaper bag all over creation, etc etc) and lets be honest here, we JUST had Easter - anyone who knows what a Dove Truffle Egg, or Cadbury Mini Eggs are understands that the diet just HAD to be on hold for a few days.

I digress... (chocolate can get the best of us off topic ;))

I go shopping. In the change room with Averie having actually found a couple of cute things in the oh-so-painfully-high size I am currently sporting (which has not changed in a LONG time). I try them on...

"What's this???... I think these are too big!" I call the sales lady over... "I think there is something wrong with the sizes on these." She assures me there isn't, but she will go & get me the size smaller to see. I try those on... THEY FIT!! Perfectly... comfortably...

How the HECK did THAT happen???

No idea. But I'll take it & run! :)

Then we got a SMOKIN deal on a hot suit for Graham the next day & we got all dolled up for a very classy night out on the town. Our church held a "Black & White Cafe Night" - live jazz music (including a little diddy performed by me & 4 of my best friends - which we ROCKED - sorry, but it just had to be said :)), an evening among only adults, everyone looking seriously awesome... we had SUCH a great night!!

The only bad part... I committed the "blogger sin" of not taking any pictures!! I am hoping to scoop some from friends in the coming week & will get them up here when I do...

Tonight after a fabulous dinner (that I actually cooked!), I made up some mini cupcakes (or "pupcakes" as Evan likes to call them) with the kids & let them decorate them. It was lots of fun! And they turned out really yummy!

This is Brynlea inhaling her cupcake... literally, she ate it in TWO bites! I tried to catch her with the camera & she was too fast! haha!


Averie & Evan's artistic work...

The only bad thing about giving Brynlea the cupcakes...
This is what happens when they're gone!


Once she recovered...
here is a shot of her VERY freshly through 3rd & 4th teeth (top center)- FINALLY!!
As you can see she will likely have 2-4 more in the coming days...
poor thing! (click on the picture for a closer look)

Here's the girls all ready for bed in their PJs - SO adorable!

So, I hope I didn't disturb anyone by my last post. It was written in the "Bell Jar", so to speak. The intensity of the moment made it a little more raw than is comfortable for some. I do, in general, know that I am not a bad mother & believe strongly in the "times & seasons" & "ages & stages" way of viewing/dealing with life. It was just a down day on the roller coaster :)

Now I am back in the clouds - I like the view from up here! :)

Pity Party

I am usually a person who hates this in other people... isn't that always the way?

There are things that I struggle with on a fairly frequent basis with my children. More frequently than I like to admit. Very few of them actually have to do WITH my children. They are really well behaved actually. Surprisingly so.

And some days (like today) the morning just gets out of my control - a million little things (really NOTHING things) suddenly set me off & I feel like a screaming banshee. I fight the desire to yell a lot. I am a naturally loud person - my speaking voice is already somewhat louder than average. When I yell, it can get scary for my kids... fast. I don't know why it is SO hard for me to control this side of my personality!

Here is the list of my childrens' "transgressions" this morning:
* Brynlea was generally unhappy with not being held - her crying was the "background music" if you will, to the entire morning. This is a fairly common occurrence these days. Not sure if it's a stage or because I am actually not paying her enough attention. On days like today, I tend to believe the latter. But it also makes my nerves raw & makes other things "bigger" than they are.
* Averie & Evan bickered a lot at the breakfast table.
* Evan knocked Brynlea over (she wasn't hurt - just escalated the screaming)
* Averie & Evan are coloring - dump all the coloring utensils all over the floor. Evan pulls his coloring book apart & scatters the pages across the room (he isn't really a big fan of coloring in the "traditional" sense)
* Averie & Evan bickered at the lunch table.
* Just before going out the door to drop Averie off at Kindergarten & while brushing teeth - realized Averie had gotten orange grease from her pizza bagel all over the front of her BRAND NEW white uniform shirt. She has a bad habit of wiping her hands across her chest as her form of a "napkin".
* Evan could only find one of his shoes.
* Once finally in the van to go to school and about a block from home, Averie has a break down when she realizes we forgot her helmet at home. They are doing roller-blading in school. They have "communal" helmets at school, but the kids can bring their own from home if they'd like.

Each of these incidents induces it's own "banshee" moment, but at this point...
it's pretty much when I lost it.

After becoming "the banshee", had a moment of clarity & turned the van around to go get her helmet for her. Because the guilt has set in now, I don't talk most of the way to get it, or back on the way to Averie's school. I feel like total crap. This is when all my inadequacies creep in & my "self-talk" tortures me...

- My house isn't clean enough... ok, who are we kidding? My house isn't clean. Period.
- I yell too much
- my kids aren't eating nutritious enough
- my dinners suck lately
- my husband is pitching in more than I like to admit & everything is STILL spiralling out of my control.
- I'm not spending enough time with, or being kind enough to Graham.
- I'm too fat
- I'm not happy enough. My children are going to remember having a huge grump for a mother.
- I don't spend enough "positive" time with each child
- I don't say "I Love You" enough
- I am becoming everything I didn't want to be as a mother.
- the worst one: I am losing my sense of humor!! I can't remember the last time I really played with, laughed with, or danced with my children. It may be escaping my mind in the moment (not exactly in a positive frame of mind here) but they aren't frequent enough to jump to mind at any rate.

I get to Averie's school & she, being the sensitive, sweet little girl she is, knows I am feeling awful. I apologize for being grumpy this morning & try to "band-aid" the whole thing, but she knows I am upset & doesn't want to leave me. I dropped her off at kindergarten in tears.

I don't really know why I feel the need to record this. Maybe so other moms know about the "bad days" too. Maybe so when my kids are parents, they'll know that it happened to us too.

It's kind of humiliating to throw out there. We already feel so judged as mothers & here I am openly admitting that today I pretty much suck at it.

Am I looking for advice? I don't know. I mean, I know some of the things I could do to try to change things. I feel so defeated & like such a failure right now, that none of them really seem realistic or feasible for me.

I know, I know... call the "wah - mbulance", right?

Sorry.