Here we go again...

Okay, if any of you who follow this blog, love me at all, this post will be followed with TONNES of fantastically encouraging comments. I NEED you!! Since I am going to be sharing things I have a REALLY hard time talking about...

Let me start with this....
I am Insulin Resistant (also known as metabolic syndrome). My diagnosis of this condition is a relatively new development. It happened during my pregnancy with Brynlea. While most people find diagnosis of an incurable (though FAR from debilitating) disorder disheartening... I was ELATED!

Let me explain why... the symptoms that I get include:
#1 - Gestational Diabetes - EVERY pregnancy. I don't even know HOW to be pregnant AND eat sugar... has never happened. It has always been diet controlled, so at least no insulin, but all that finger poking. Ugh. I do feel REALLY good when I'm pregnant though (see #2)

#2 - Bonus from number one - I LOSE weight when I am pregnant. Literally. I usually lose about 10lbs in the first trimester (due to sickness, lack of appetite, stopping eating sugar, etc) & then do not gain ONE pound for the duration of the rest of it... no joking! My prenatal medical files are hilarious! My weight is EXACTLY the same at every appointment. It's a pretty bizarre thing actually... as my belly gets bigger, the rest of me (face, neck, arms, butt) gets skinnier. When I was pregnant with Evan (this may be partly because I heard you burn 10% more calories when pregnant with a boy), one week after he was born, I was THIRTY pounds lighter than I was at my first doctor's appointment when I found out I was pregnant with him.
There are 2 reasons for this:
a) I stop eating sugar. Insulin Resistance is a pre-cursor to type 2 diabetes (it is even called "pre-diabetes" sometimes) so the REALLY short answer is that my body does NOT process glucose properly. For some reason this sacrifice is VERY easy to make when it means the health of my unborn child... when it's just for MY health? Not so much.
b) My metabolism is pretty much non-exsistant. Having 2 people (no matter how small the 2nd is) using the same calories, forces my body to burn calories more efficiently.

#3 - When I am NOT pregnant it is near IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose weight. In fact, I gain weight at a ridiculous pace as soon as baby is born. Part of this is my fault, as I have not yet been able to maintain the "not eating sugar" part of everything when I am not pregnant. The other part is that my metabolism is, well just plain hooped. Let me give you the scenario my diabetic nutritionist gave me:
Say I go on weight watchers & am allowed 1400 calories. I would pretty quickly lose about 5, maybe even 10lbs, but my metabolism would go into "starvation mode" & just keep slowing & slowing until I stopped losing weight - even when I am only eating 1400 calories!! THEN if I happened to have a bad day & eat 1600 calories (STILL under what the average person needs), my body would GRAB onto those extra calories & I would immediately GAIN 2lbs! Even though I was still only eating 1600 calories!!
Now maybe you understand my elation! Imagine how many times I have been on weight watchers with friends, while they all achieved their goals, & I got stuck after 10lbs! Or that summer I worked out FIVE days a week & never lost a SINGLE pound. I actually started to think I was going INSANE! This diagnosis at least gave me something I can work with!

Here are the symptoms as copied from Wikipedia:

1. Fatigue.
2. Brain fogginess and inability to focus. Sometimes the fatigue is physical, but often it is mental. (I get both)
   
3. Low blood sugar. Mild, brief periods of low blood sugar are normal during the day, especially if meals are not eaten on a regular schedule; they are normally raised by mobilization of glucose into the blood from stored glycogen made from blood glucose previously taken by liver cells. Feeling agitated, jittery, moody, nauseous, or having a headache is common in insulin resistance, commonly with rapid relief once food is eaten.
4. Intestinal bloating. Most intestinal gas is produced from carbohydrates in the diet. Insulin resistance sufferers who eat carbohydrates sometimes suffer from gas.
5. Sleepiness. Many people with insulin resistance get sleepy immediately after eating a meal containing more than 20% or 30% carbohydrates.
6. Weight gain, fat storage, difficulty losing weight. For most people, too much weight is too much fat. The fat in IR is generally stored in and around abdominal organs in both males and females. It is currently suspected that hormonal effects from such fat are a precipitating cause of insulin resistance.
7. Increased blood triglyceride levels.
8. Increased blood pressure. Many people with hypertension are either diabetic or pre-diabetic and have elevated insulin levels due to insulin resistance. One of insulin's effects is on arterial walls throughout the body. (I do not have this one - I actually have naturally LOW blood pressure)
   
9. Depression. Because of the deranged metabolism resulting from insulin resistance, psychological effects are not uncommon. Depression is said to be the prevalent psychological symptom.

So, now that you have your education let me continue :)

Brynlea will be 6 months old on saturday. I have packed it in with nursing (the mind is willing - but the body just ISN'T cooperating this time) & I got up the guts to step on the scale this morning. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight. For most people, this is a good thing. For me? It means I've GAINED back the 20+ pounds I lost during my pregnancy with her. This also means I am back to my record HIGHEST weight. No, I can't go so far as to actually disclose it. I can hardly STOMACHE it!

And so I am embarking on yet another attempt to get back to my once spunky, svelt self. I do at least have a better idea of what will work (no shortcuts for me), but now to get the motivation.
I have an intense battle to fight... primarily against the above #s - 1,2,5 & 9 - how do I get motivated with all these strikes against me?!

SO I am going to try & use this as an outlet for frustration, an anvenue for praising my successes & overall to get SUPPORT!!

I am begging all of you! Help me become THIS again!!

Anything is greatly appreciated! Tips, advice, encouragement... ANYTHING!